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22 October 2008 @ 07:23 pm
Special Post #5: Armporn! Picspam  
As our illustrious mod em_meredithonce observed, “I know that this is a show about character, and politics, and morality at the end of the world. But, really, this is a show about ARMS.” And because my mind is kind of a scary place, I decided to run with that idea.

So without further ado, I present to you: 

If The Colonial Fleet and Cylons Had Let the Arms Decide

Good evening everyone and welcome to the Fox Sports studios in Los Angeles. I’m Jeanne Zelasko. Before we take you back out to the action, here’s a quick recap of what’s happened in the first season of this epic battle for arm supremacy.

With veteran warhorse ‘Old Man’ Bill Adama at the helm…

…and his long-time friend and bench coach Saul Tigh lending the team his special brand of expertise, the Colonials were looking strong in spite of the nuclear holocaust that had befallen them in the opening minutes of the competition.

Further buoyed by the well-defined strength and experience of all-star Lee Adama…

…it seemed as if the Colonials were going to win this one in a cakewalk.

Until, in a surprise ruling by referees in the quadrant, arms bared during any and all imaginary circumstances were ruled as eligible to be counted towards team point totals, a decision that without question will continue to give the Cylons an advantage in upcoming seasons.

And while the loss of Sharon “Boomer” Valeri to the Cylons may have had only a minimal impact on the Colonial team’s overall game plan…

…they were hit hard by the devastating and potentially career-ending injury to their storied Commander in the final seconds of the first season. And it looks like the second season is now getting underway, so let’s get you back to the action with Joe Buck and Tim McCarver.

Joe: Thanks Jeanne, and a warm welcome to all of you who are just joining us in sector 728, where right now things aren’t looking all that promising for the Colonial Team.

Tim: They certainly aren’t Joe, but Lee Adama’s doing his best to put aside personal grief and rally his teammates as best he can from the confines of Galactica’s brig.

Tim: I’m sure having Karl C. Agathon back with the team after sixty-two days on Cylon-occupied New Caprica has to have come as a big relief. His presence helps to round out what many have called the most well-rounded offensive lines in the known universe.

Joe: And the decision to bring Sam Anders off the bench while all-star Lee Adama is in the brig has without a doubt helped to plug what had been a frankly alarming hole in the Colonial’s line-up.

Tim: Truly a great decision by Commander Bill Adama. I think it’s safe to say that team members and fans alike are relieved to see him back on his feet and in the game after last season’s potentially fatal injury at the hands of the Cylons.

Joe: And he’s not wasting any time, Tim. It looks like the Commander’s decided it’s time to put the team’s secret weapon to use.

Tim: I don’t think it’s any secret that this team has come to rely on performances like this from Lee Adama. I can only guess that Bill Adama’s hoping to put some real distance between his team and the Cylons.

Tim: Very unusual to use a fake out in this type of situation.

Joe: Unusual but certainly not unheard of. And based on the reaction of the fans they’re not going to let either Adama off the hook for this one. They’re going to have to make it up to them.


Tim: And there it is.

Joe: You can certainly hear it in the roar of the crowd, but what’s more you can really see the confidence and appreciation in the expressions of Lee Adama’s teammates. And who can blame them? It looks like Team Colonial may have this one in the bag.

Tim: Oh! What a setback!

Tim: This really couldn’t have come at a worse time for the Colonials. And given the league crackdown on illegal stim use in recent episodes, I don’t know how Kat thought she’d be able to get away with it. Of course, this means that she will be immediately disqualified for the duration of the competition.

Joe: I think I speak for everyone here when I say that our thoughts and prayers will be with Kat during what I’m sure is going to be a difficult time.

Joe: And now for more on the reaction of both teams to recent season two developments, let’s take it down to Ken Rosenthal. Ken, can you describe the mood amongst the Cylons right now?

Ken: Determined. This is a team that’s just not willing to give up.

Ken: And the Colonials are certainly hardening their resolve as well, getting ready to go to the mattresses and do whatever it takes to come out on top, as evidenced by this brilliant move by their veteran all-stars. These two really know how to use their assets to full advantage, and it shows.

Joe: Oooh! All I can say here is ‘what was he thinking?’

Tim: The only explanation for an error of this magnitude from such a seasoned competitor is that Adama’s confidence may have gotten the better of him. The Colonials can only hope he’s able to pull himself together in time to be of help to them in later episodes.


Tim: This is what I really like about Thrace: even in the face of crushing disappointment, she fights ‘em until she can’t.

Joe: And that’s just the sort of spunk this Colonial team needs right now, especially since it seems that the Cylons have been steadily gaining valuable air time over the past few episodes. Air time the Colonials were counting on as a part of their game plan.

Joe: I think we’re really beginning to see just how concerned the Colonials have become about their recent loss of air time, Tim.

Tim: A desperate move, to be sure but if this gambit works, it’ll give the Colonials a huge advantage going forward.

Joe: I’m not so sure I’d be willing to take the risk—

Joe: —and there’s the reason why. D’Anna has deftly countered with some well-timed arm-bearing, leaving the Colonials no better off than they were before League Commissioner Ronald D. Moore forgot how interesting humans can be.

Tim: If anything this unintentional arm-bearing by the Cylons might encourage the writers to give them more airtime, something the Colonials cannot afford in upcoming seasons if they ultimately want to come out on top.

Joe: I have to say, I like this move by the Colonial team.

Tim: Bringing Anders up to a starting position on the roster will undoubtedly help the team going forward. He’s got the skills and confidence they really need right now.

Joe: You know, this is a team who really has pulled together in recent episodes – no small feat given the team’s less-than-ideal beginnings. And to take a look at just what makes this Colonial Team so formidable, let’s go to special guest commentator Bob Costas.

*cue music from the film Dances with Wolves*

Bob:  Their homes destroyed, family and friends murdered, and with only limited supplies, no one would have blamed the Colonials for simply rolling over and giving up. This was a team literally struggling for its very existence. But instead of quitting, they’ve gone and done just the opposite, fighting their way across the galaxy on a hope and a dream – of finding Earth.

Under the stalwart leader ship of Admiral William Adama and President Laura Roslin, they’ve overcome what many would call unbeatable odds, becoming more determined and perhaps stronger than ever.

With a top-notch training program developed and presided over by veteran bench coach Saul Tigh…

…and a farm system brimming with promising new recruits, there’s no limit to how far this team might go. But this group of wayward refugees’ strength comes from more than just their biceps – this is a team that time and time again has shown that it can shine in the face of adversity.

This is a team that works together, plays together, sleeps together – a family in every sense of the word.

And you have to wonder if maybe, just maybe this crazy space family has what it takes to overcome the odds and achieve the impossible.

Joe: Thank you Bob for that moving in-depth look at this impressive Colonial team.

Tim: Joe, I’ve just got to cut in here to say that the trade of these four players minutes before the deadline really shakes things up.

Joe: And it’s important to note here that all points accumulated by these competitors now go to the Cylons. And the Colonial’s loss is very much the Cylon’s gain when it comes to Sam Anders.


Joe: It appears that Anders is less than thrilled with this decision by league management. And can you believe it’s actually driven him to start smoking?

Tim: A tough blow to his ego certainly, but this guy’s a natural-born competitor. Cigarettes or not he’s going to do his part regardless of what species he’s playing for.

Tim: It’s clear that the Colonial Team has been rocked by the unexpected trade as well. I mean, let’s be honest here; Baltar’s girly-groupie-sex-whatever-they-are’s certainly aren’t doing the Colonials any favors and yet thus far they’ve played a prominent role in this season’s plot developments.

Joe: It certainly does seem as if the Colonials began their victory celebrations a little early. They’re going to have to sober up and really buckle down now that we’re coming into the home stretch.

Joe: But it looks like everyone, including our competitors, is going to have to wait and see what unfolds in upcoming episodes. Until then, this is Joe Buck and Tim McCarver saying thanks for tuning in. Goodnight everyone.



Warning: This picspam contains spoilers through the episode The Road Less Traveled. And is possibly a little ridiculous.

Screencaps taken with many thanks from Galactica BBS and blackcelebration.net.

My Mama Didn't Raise Me to Be a Fishwife: Office Space - Firennaylime on October 22nd, 2008 11:44 pm (UTC)
Hopeless Romantic at Heart: BSG - Adama smilezinke on October 22nd, 2008 11:59 pm (UTC)

I threw in Laura's legs just for you.

Edited at 2008-10-23 12:03 am (UTC)
My Mama Didn't Raise Me to Be a Fishwife: BSG - Laura - Torsonnaylime on October 23rd, 2008 12:04 am (UTC)
I wondered . . .
Hopeless Romantic at Heart: BSG - Roslin smilingzinke on October 23rd, 2008 12:07 am (UTC)
And maybe a little bit for me. *g*
My Mama Didn't Raise Me to Be a Fishwife: BSG - Baltar's Winkie (is very small)nnaylime on October 23rd, 2008 12:08 am (UTC)
phdeliciousphdelicious on October 23rd, 2008 12:26 am (UTC)
ODL! This is very funny. And can I just say how much it annoys me that the BSG caps are always so dark!
Hopeless Romantic at Heart: BSG - Adama thoughtfulzinke on October 23rd, 2008 12:40 am (UTC)
Seriously! Don't get me wrong - mood lighting is very important - but doesn't the BSG crew understand we need better lighting for our picspams? *g*
phdelicious: BSG_Kara-Leephdelicious on October 23rd, 2008 12:44 am (UTC)
Exactly! It prevents us from over objectifying the cast. Oh wait, maybe that's the point?
Hopeless Romantic at Heart: BSG - But look at my arms!zinke on October 23rd, 2008 12:48 am (UTC)
I do have to say though, that when they use 'underneath lighting' (I can't for the life of me think of the correct technical term) as they did on the Demetrius it really does accent the arms nicely.

The rest of the time, however, you can't see squat. Which is just unfair.
phdelicious: BSG_Karaphdelicious on October 23rd, 2008 01:51 am (UTC)
Srsly! Why hire the pretty ppl if we're not going to be able to see them?
do I dare to eat a peach?: (bsg) like fine winestop_theworld on October 23rd, 2008 12:35 am (UTC)
You are an amazing individual.

This is a team that works together, plays together, sleeps together – a family in every sense of the word. LMAO!

Hopeless Romantic at Heart: BSG - UF Roslin smilingzinke on October 23rd, 2008 12:42 am (UTC)

Sarcasm is a beautiful thing, isn't it?
leftofcenternyc: letter to leegirlunravelled on October 23rd, 2008 12:49 am (UTC)
this is absolutely hysterical. except that now i can't get Bob Costas' voice out of my head. and that's less hysterical and more just scary.
Hopeless Romantic at Heart: BSG - Arms Dealerszinke on October 23rd, 2008 12:52 am (UTC)
now i can't get Bob Costas' voice out of my head

Oops. Maybe if you just focus really hard on the arms, it'll drive the bad man away...
chaila: hee!chaila on October 23rd, 2008 01:10 am (UTC)
HEE! I am truly amazed by your ability to spin out a metaphor. But it's the Bob Costas that makes it art.

*tries to use a different icon*


ETA: Tigh's arms. . . aren't horrible. I mean, they're not Helo's forearms or anything. But still.

Edited at 2008-10-23 01:12 am (UTC)
Hopeless Romantic at Heart: Misc - Stadler and Waldorf mockeryzinke on October 23rd, 2008 01:24 am (UTC)
spin out a metaphor

There's such a fine line between spinning and belaboring - I'm glad this errs on the side of the former. And no mocking of sportscasters would be complete without poking a little fun at Bob (pun totally intended - there are jockeys taller than he is).

*tries to use a different icon*


And predictably, I am giggling again.

There are some serious Tigh-cept fans out there. I am not really one of them - the copious chest hair kind of ruins it for me - but to each his/her own, I guess.

I really didn't have a true appreciation for Helo's arms until I sat down to do this picspam. I have to say, they're pretty awesome.
cassie: BSG helo's arm by phdeliciouskiss_me_cassie on October 23rd, 2008 01:07 pm (UTC)
WHAT?! Bleasphemy. I don't think we can be friends anymore. :(
Hopeless Romantic at Heart: BSG - Watch for the Plotzinke on October 23rd, 2008 03:04 pm (UTC)
But I appreciate them now!!!! *panics*
♛ part-time maenad: bsg; empireradon_ on October 23rd, 2008 01:54 am (UTC)
Oh my gods this is frakking brilliant. (now everyone's looking at me like I'm a maniac because I'm grinning at my screen. :/)
Hopeless Romantic at Heart: BSG - But look at my arms!zinke on October 23rd, 2008 03:08 pm (UTC)
Hee! Just tell then your favorite team is winning. *g*
Kari: TV - BSG - Lee hotutkari02 on October 23rd, 2008 02:53 am (UTC)
ftw, man, ftw. :D
captaintish: BSG -- Starbuck - squeecaptaintish on October 23rd, 2008 06:32 am (UTC)
LOLOLOLOL! Love this!
(Deleted comment)
Hopeless Romantic at Heart: BSG - Bill OMG yay!zinke on October 23rd, 2008 03:07 pm (UTC)
Yay! Glad I was able to brighten things up!
cassiekiss_me_cassie on October 23rd, 2008 01:06 pm (UTC)
It may be ridiculous, but I happen to love your brand of ridiculous. NEVER have I enjoyed a sports commentary so very much as this! *g*
Hopeless Romantic at Heart: Misc - Ball and glovezinke on October 23rd, 2008 03:05 pm (UTC)
Hee! It may be that I have watched entirely too much baseball this season. Of course, that hasn't stopped me yet...
Silja: mood - serious businesssiljamus on October 23rd, 2008 03:03 pm (UTC)
Utter brilliance \o/
Hopeless Romantic at Heart: BSG - And I can dance.zinke on October 23rd, 2008 03:06 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad you, Stadler and Waldorf approve! I always suspected those guys would be BSG fans. *g*
Call Me OneTrack: bsg boyscallmeonetrack on October 24th, 2008 07:19 pm (UTC)
Crap, this is hysterical! Spot on voice and Bob Costas just makes the whole thing. The illegal use of sims, the Kat fake-out, the trade of four essential colonial players to the cylons. Brilliant.

I'm grinning like a fool at my non-walled cubicle and everyone can see me.
Anastashia: Lee Happy Lookanastashial on October 24th, 2008 09:09 pm (UTC)
Loved it. i almost didn't see it because there's another one about that's no where near as funny and I initially didn't realize this was a second one.

I will say on the darkness of the pic I routinely use the "Autofix", "Adjust" and "Contrast" tools on PB's "Basic" Editing Tab to lighten things up. It does things like help make this:
into this:

It is a lot of extra work though.
(Deleted comment)
hoolia gooliaboom_queen on October 25th, 2008 03:56 am (UTC)