So without further ado, I present to you:
If The Colonial Fleet and Cylons Had Let the Arms Decide
Good evening everyone and welcome to the Fox Sports studios in Los Angeles. I’m Jeanne Zelasko. Before we take you back out to the action, here’s a quick recap of what’s happened in the first season of this epic battle for arm supremacy.
With veteran warhorse ‘Old Man’ Bill Adama at the helm…
…and his long-time friend and bench coach Saul Tigh lending the team his special brand of expertise, the Colonials were looking strong in spite of the nuclear holocaust that had befallen them in the opening minutes of the competition.
Until, in a surprise ruling by referees in the quadrant, arms bared during any and all imaginary circumstances were ruled as eligible to be counted towards team point totals, a decision that without question will continue to give the Cylons an advantage in upcoming seasons.
…they were hit hard by the devastating and potentially career-ending injury to their storied Commander in the final seconds of the first season. And it looks like the second season is now getting underway, so let’s get you back to the action with Joe Buck and Tim McCarver.
Tim: They certainly aren’t Joe, but Lee Adama’s doing his best to put aside personal grief and rally his teammates as best he can from the confines of Galactica’s brig.
Tim: I’m sure having Karl C. Agathon back with the team after sixty-two days on Cylon-occupied New Caprica has to have come as a big relief. His presence helps to round out what many have called the most well-rounded offensive lines in the known universe.
Tim: Truly a great decision by Commander Bill Adama. I think it’s safe to say that team members and fans alike are relieved to see him back on his feet and in the game after last season’s potentially fatal injury at the hands of the Cylons.
Tim: I don’t think it’s any secret that this team has come to rely on performances like this from Lee Adama. I can only guess that Bill Adama’s hoping to put some real distance between his team and the Cylons.
Tim: Very unusual to use a fake out in this type of situation.
Joe: Unusual but certainly not unheard of. And based on the reaction of the fans they’re not going to let either Adama off the hook for this one. They’re going to have to make it up to them.
Joe: You can certainly hear it in the roar of the crowd, but what’s more you can really see the confidence and appreciation in the expressions of Lee Adama’s teammates. And who can blame them? It looks like Team Colonial may have this one in the bag.
Tim: Oh! What a setback!
Tim: This really couldn’t have come at a worse time for the Colonials. And given the league crackdown on illegal stim use in recent episodes, I don’t know how Kat thought she’d be able to get away with it. Of course, this means that she will be immediately disqualified for the duration of the competition.
Joe: I think I speak for everyone here when I say that our thoughts and prayers will be with Kat during what I’m sure is going to be a difficult time.
Ken: Determined. This is a team that’s just not willing to give up.
Ken: And the Colonials are certainly hardening their resolve as well, getting ready to go to the mattresses and do whatever it takes to come out on top, as evidenced by this brilliant move by their veteran all-stars. These two really know how to use their assets to full advantage, and it shows.
Tim: The only explanation for an error of this magnitude from such a seasoned competitor is that Adama’s confidence may have gotten the better of him. The Colonials can only hope he’s able to pull himself together in time to be of help to them in later episodes.
Joe: And that’s just the sort of spunk this Colonial team needs right now, especially since it seems that the Cylons have been steadily gaining valuable air time over the past few episodes. Air time the Colonials were counting on as a part of their game plan.
Tim: A desperate move, to be sure but if this gambit works, it’ll give the Colonials a huge advantage going forward.
Joe: I’m not so sure I’d be willing to take the risk—
Joe: —and there’s the reason why. D’Anna has deftly countered with some well-timed arm-bearing, leaving the Colonials no better off than they were before League Commissioner Ronald D. Moore forgot how interesting humans can be.
Tim: If anything this unintentional arm-bearing by the Cylons might encourage the writers to give them more airtime, something the Colonials cannot afford in upcoming seasons if they ultimately want to come out on top.
Tim: Bringing Anders up to a starting position on the roster will undoubtedly help the team going forward. He’s got the skills and confidence they really need right now.
Joe: You know, this is a team who really has pulled together in recent episodes – no small feat given the team’s less-than-ideal beginnings. And to take a look at just what makes this Colonial Team so formidable, let’s go to special guest commentator Bob Costas.
Bob: Their homes destroyed, family and friends murdered, and with only limited supplies, no one would have blamed the Colonials for simply rolling over and giving up. This was a team literally struggling for its very existence. But instead of quitting, they’ve gone and done just the opposite, fighting their way across the galaxy on a hope and a dream – of finding Earth.
Under the stalwart leader ship of Admiral William Adama and President Laura Roslin, they’ve overcome what many would call unbeatable odds, becoming more determined and perhaps stronger than ever.
With a top-notch training program developed and presided over by veteran bench coach Saul Tigh…
…and a farm system brimming with promising new recruits, there’s no limit to how far this team might go. But this group of wayward refugees’ strength comes from more than just their biceps – this is a team that time and time again has shown that it can shine in the face of adversity.
Tim: Joe, I’ve just got to cut in here to say that the trade of these four players minutes before the deadline really shakes things up.
Joe: And it’s important to note here that all points accumulated by these competitors now go to the Cylons. And the Colonial’s loss is very much the Cylon’s gain when it comes to Sam Anders.
Tim: A tough blow to his ego certainly, but this guy’s a natural-born competitor. Cigarettes or not he’s going to do his part regardless of what species he’s playing for.
Tim: It’s clear that the Colonial Team has been rocked by the unexpected trade as well. I mean, let’s be honest here; Baltar’s girly-groupie-sex-whatever-they-are’s certainly aren’t doing the Colonials any favors and yet thus far they’ve played a prominent role in this season’s plot developments.
Joe: But it looks like everyone, including our competitors, is going to have to wait and see what unfolds in upcoming episodes. Until then, this is Joe Buck and Tim McCarver saying thanks for tuning in. Goodnight everyone.
Warning: This picspam contains spoilers through the episode The Road Less Traveled. And is possibly a little ridiculous.
Screencaps taken with many thanks from Galactica BBS and blackcelebration.net.